Why is There so Little Theater about Queer Women?

A couple of years ago I had the good fortune to get tickets to Fun Home. It was an incredible bit of luck that led me to get half price off tickets at TKTS. I've always been a broadway geek but never before had I had the pleasure of seeing the story of someone like myself on that stage.
For the very first time, I saw something that had been tailor made for ME. It was a show about the early years of a lesbian cartoonist. And the songs - I could feel them in my bones. One of them, Ring of Keys,  is about recognizing for the very first time that someone is like you.

Someone just came in the door.
Like no one I ever saw before.
I feel...
I feel...

I don't know where you came from.
I wish I did
I feel so dumb.
I feel...

Your swagger and your bearing
and the just right clothes you're wearing
Your short hair and your dungarees
And your lace up boots.

And your keys oh
Your ring of keys.

I thought it was s'pposed to be wrong
But you seem okay with being strong
I want...to...
You're so...

It's probably conceited to say,
But I think we're alike in a certain way
I...um...

Your swagger and your bearing
and the just right clothes you're wearing
Your short hair and your dungarees
And your lace up boots.

And your keys oh
Your ring of keys.

Do you feel my heart saying hi?
In this whole luncheonette
Why am I the only one who see you're beautiful?

[Spoken]
No, I mean

[Sung]
Handsome!

Your swagger and your bearing
and the just right clothes you're wearing
Your short hair and your dungarees
And your lace up boots.

And your keys oh
Your ring of keys.

I know you
I know you
I know you

I have felt that knowing. That moment of I am different, and so are you, and that's not just okay, it's wonderful. One of the first times I felt that feeling was actually at a broadway show. I was seven or eight, I picked up on the subtext between Elphaba and Glinda (the answer to what is this feeling is NOT loathing). There was something different there, and maybe I saw it in myself too. I swear, I had dreams where I tried to keep the two of them together after the second act. Little gay me, writing femslash fanfic in her dreams.

Watching Fun Home was an experience like no other because it was a show about ME. I have seen many, many shows about gay men. There's a new one on broadway every season. But shows about people like me? Are few and far between.

I can think of a few musicals with queer female characters. There's Fun Home, Rent, The Color Purple, and If/Then. I'm probably missing one or two, but the point is... there is a serious lack of queer musicals and many of the shows that do have queer women only have them as side characters. I'm well aware that broadway is full of gay men and that this skews the results a bit, but what about that girl out there who's looking to find that moment where she recognizes what's on stage and finally understands herself? Girls deserve that moment too. We deserve media that reflects us. We deserve to be able to look at a show and say "I know you."

On Bechloe And Pitch Perfect 3

On Bechloe and Pitch Perfect 3

credit to lifeisbechloe on tumblr

I love Pitch Perfect. It's a female-centric film, which we get far too few of. And it's about girls who sing - with their mouths, as Chloe says. It's almost like the film was engineered in a lab for me to love. Like most things I love, there's femslash.

Let me break it down for you. A Chloe busts into Becca's shower because she hears her singing. She demands to harmonize with her. Becca compliments Chloe's body, and Chloe compliments Becca's singing,  It's one of the gayest scenes I've ever seen. The second movie continues this subtextual relationship - there's a scene where Chloe mentions "experimenting" to Becca. 

I'm truly familiar with queerbaiting. I've seen it before and I know I'll see it again. I'm talking about you, Swan Queen ("How can I get the savior to taste my forbidden fruit?"), Rizzles, etc. But the thing that excites me so much about Bechloe is that it still has the chance to NOT be queerbaiting. We still have the chance to get our happy ending. 

Anna Kendrick is fully behind Bechloe. “I mean, our characters are pretty much in a lesbian relationship. As far as we’re concerned, they’re secretly in love. We’ve joked that there will be all-out passionate lovemaking in the third movie. Too bad we still need that PG-13 rating.” Of course, the choice to make Bechloe Canon doesn't lie with Anna Kendrick, although her support is important. 

But there is good news. It looks like Skylar Astin and the Treblemakers will not be in Pitch Perfect 3. Without Becca's previous love interest, Chloe has an opening. 

Something else that must be considered is how Pitch Perfect has treated it's queer characters in the past. Cynthia Rose is the Barden Bella's only lesbian, and she's often the butt of a joke. The movies are comedies, but do they really need to joke about her being predatory towards Stacie? It's a tired trope that needs to die.

Still, I'd love to see Bechloe become canon, and it's looking like they have a chance. With so few LGBT characters in film, it would be so refreshing for these two, who have such a fanbase, to truly be in love. 

Rare Pairs

Every once in a while, you fall in love with a ship that it feels like no one else ships. Rare pairs are the bane of the existence of every shipper. There's little to no fanfic for them, and no one to talk about them with. I have had the joy and the pain of falling in love with several rare pairs. Here are a few of my favorites.

Echo/Claire Saunders-Whiskey

credit to thisseamonkey on tumblr

I'll admit, part of this ship for me is the joy of shipping character's played by Amy Acker and Eliza Dusku together. They're both women who would have chemistry with a paper bag. We got this one moment hinting at something between them on an engagement, and then BOOM, nothing ever again. Dr. Saunders was, like Echo, one of the only moral characters on Dollhouse. She truly cared for the dolls, even before she realized things. She and Echo had so much in common - Whiskey was number one once. They're both going through journeys of identity. Also - Claire Saunders would have been an infinitely better love interest for Echo than Paul friggen Ballart.

Amanda Rosewater/Jessica Berlin Rainer

credit to josscarters on tumblr

Defiance is one of my favorite shows. It's got canon femslash, and LOADS of subtext. I had any number of ships to choose from here (Amanda/Stahma, Irisa/Berlin, Yewll/Amanda, Stahma/Christie),  but Amanda/Berlin is definitely my favorite. Amanda and Berlin are both Hot Bitches in Charge. They take no shit from people. But with each other, they smile. And they get shit done. Together they are a force to be reckoned with. 

Bo and Kenzi

credit to alex-danverrs on tumblr

Here's where you learn that I am trash. I ship Bo and Kenzi. Yes, Bo and Kenzi, the holy and platonic gal pals of best friendship. Kenzi and Bo build their whole lives around each other. They are the most important relationship in each other's life. Kenzi is Bo's heart. She keeps her grounded. She keeps her sane. Maybe I just ship this in an alternate universe where Kenzi isn't straight, but I definitely ship it.

What's your favorite femslash rare pair? 

The Character Deaths that Hurt Me The Most (And How I'd Fix Them)

 The Character Deaths that Hurt Me The Most (And How I'd Fix Them)

It's no secret that lesbian and bisexual characters die and die often. It's hard not to be affected by the deaths of these characters, especially when they happen so often. Sometimes I feel that television is saying that people like me don't deserve happy endings. It has gotten to the point now where I hesitate before starting a show with queer characters. Am I going to lose these girls too? There are times when I feel it's best not to get attached. But I LOVE television, so eventually, I give in.

Some deaths hurt more than others. There are some characters I'll hold in my heart with me forever. When anyone messes with them - including their writers - well, I am not a happy woman. Here's a list of the characters whose deaths affected me most deeply.

I want her leather jacket collection

I've written a little bit about Tamsin before. She was this beautiful, complex character (when the writers didn't forget how to write her) who never caught a break. She fell head over heels for a woman who didn't love her back in the same way (I think we all can sympathize). Lost Girl's final season was awful, disjointed and badly written for many reasons, but the worst of them was Tamsin's fate. She was raped, impregnated, imprisoned, and then died in childbirth. Then the show tried to convince us we should be happy about Tamsin's death, that she was "rising" to a better place. It was a big ol' pile of bullshit.

If I had my way, Tamsin the whole rape plot would have gone out the window. Tamsin would have found someone who loved her for who she is, and continued to be best buds with the happy sunshine gang. She also would have had a bigger role in the final fight, not being hindered by the whole giving birth thing.

two guns is better than one

Oh Root, my sweet murderous child. I've talked before about my disappointment in Person of Interest, but I don't think I've said enough about my love for Root. Look, I'm contractually obligated to fall in love with any character played by Amy Acker, but Root is so much more. Seldom have I seen a character with as much development as her. She goes from thinking that humans are just bad code, to protecting them at the behest of her God. Root even finds it within herself to love a human, Shaw. And what a love that is. It's a four-alarm fire in an oil refinery, and I love to watch it burn. Person of Interest was a show where anyone could die. I understood that, mentally. But I think what hurt me is that Root died to make Harold make a decision he should have already made in the first place - to set the machine free. She didn't need to die for his man-pain.

In my alternate universe, Harold Finch dies, and Root sets the machine free. It seems more fitting - out with the old guard, in with the new. 

"Accent à droite, bitch"

I used to love Orange is the New Black.The first season was witty, funny, and intensely gay. But as the seasons went on, it seemed to lose something. In season 3, we lost Poussey in the worst way possible. I love Poussey. She was one of the sweetest inmates (and one of the better people in the prison). Her relationship with Soso was adorable. It wasn't just that she died, but the WAY she died that hurt me so much. It seemed like the show was trying to make a statement about Black Lives Matter, but they clearly also wanted us to sympathize with the guard who asphyxiated Poussey. It sent... mixed messages. Also can't you send a message about Black Lives Matter without killing a character?

In my alternate universe, Poussey is alive and happy. She eventually gets out of prison, and so does Soso. They are never reincarcerated.

Actresses I Would Love To See Play Lesbian/Bi Characters

Actresses I Would Love To See Play WLW

Somewhere in my head exists my perfect television show. It's about a group of women who race spaceships. And kiss. Often. And my perfect tv show, obviously, has a perfect cast. It includes many of the women who have played Lesbian and Bi characters before, but it also has some who have never gotten the chance. You read this list and you're seeing a little bit of my heart's greatest hope. 

First off, there's Gina Torres. I have loved her ever since I first saw her as Zoe in Firefly. There is no one in Hollywood who looks more like Wonder Woman to me (you can't tell me she's too old, the woman doesn't age!). She's had a few subtexty roles, like Cleopatra in Xena and Hel in Cleopatra 2525 (a show that must be seen to be believed), but I've never seen her play an actual bi or lesbian role. If I did I might die of joy. In my Gays in Space show, she's the galaxy's biggest bookie, in charge of bets on space races. 

Next, there's Eliza Dushku. I may be pushing things a little, as I think Eliza has played a lesbian once in a horror movie or something, but I never saw it so I'm gonna say it doesn't count. Eliza Dushku is the queen of subtext. She could have chemistry with a paper plate. Her performance as Faith Lehane resulted in my gay awakening. She's also been the biggest cheerleader of the Faith/Buffy ship. It's time we got her kissing ladies on television. On Gays in Space, she's a hotshot pilot with an addiction to drugs that keep you awake while in flight (gotta keep the angst in there somehow). 

It's no secret that I love Warehouse 13. And throughout its seasons, Joanne Kelly does an amazing job of acting like she's in love with Helena Wells. She's also incredibly supportive of the fandom. We may not be able to have canon Bering and Wells, but Joanne Kelly could totally play a wlw. On Gays In Space, Joanne Kelly is an alien spaceship racer with a secret - she's dating a human. 

Gina Rodriguez is one of the most adorable humans alive. Jane The Virgin has blessed us with the ability to see her face on our televisions. And I have good news - she's going to be playing a lesbian paramedic in a sci-fi film called "Annihilation". But since that's not out yet I'm still going to count her as an actress who hasn't played a queer character. In Gays In Space, she's a genius mechanic secretly stealing from her bosses in order to get enough to go off world.

I hope you enjoyed my weird little gay sci-fi thoughts. 

Characters I Headcanon as Lesbian/Bi

Characters I Headcanon as Lesbian/Bi

Every once in a while I see a character on television and chant in my head "one of us, one of us". It's not always a canonically queer character that catches my eye. Sometimes it's so obvious that I wonder who the writers are trying to kid by telling me that this character is straight. SURELY they can see that she likes girls. Here are a few of my favorite subtextually lesbian and bi characters currently on tv. 

look at that power lesbian stare

Lena Luthor practically OOZES gay. It's something of a joke right now on tumblr that Katie McGrath, bless her soul, can't play a straight character. The way she looks at Supergirl/Kara... it's hungry and I love it. Lena is so gay that she's in love with both Supergirl and Kara Danvers - at the same time. Like many lesbians, Lena has a family that does not see her as good enough. Throughout the season, she's been choosing Supergirl over her family. How much truer does love GET?

smol bi mess Rebecca Bunch

Rebecca Bunch's bisexuality is not immediately noticeable. She spends much of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend pining after either Josh or Greg. However, a song in season one shows us that Rebecca is totally into Valencia, Josh's girlfriend at the time.

"I wanna lock you in a basement with soundproof walls

And take over your identity.

I wanna cut the silky hair right off your head

And slurp it up, like spaghetti.

Wanna clone you and consume you,

Wanna own you and cartoon you,

Fly your dirty panties like a kite

(Kite!)

‘Cause I-I-I-I I’m feelin’‛kinda naughty tonight!"

It's clearly... really weird, but no straight woman wants another woman's dirty underwear. 

Petra is bi bi bi

Petra Solano is bi.  Every time she's around Jane, she LIGHTS UP. She cares so much about her. And not in a this-is-my-best-friend way. Jane the Virgin may already have lesbians but it does us a disservice by not letting Petra kiss Jane. 

Sometimes I just want to take these girls away from their writers and let them be who they so obviously are. 

Why Are There No Butch Women in Television?

Why Are There No Butch Women in Television?

Turn on the television and you can see a decent number of lesbians and bisexuals. There aren't enough characters, and they keep dying, but sure, they're visible. But what you do not see is the elusive butch woman. The only example of a butch woman in television I can think of is Big Boo on Orange is the New Black, and she's a horrible person. 

Kind of the Worst

I'm not butch but I'm also not femme, and it seems kind of strange to me that the only women we see on television are ultra-feminine. There's a much larger spectrum of femaleness than that which we usually get to see in media. 

So why is this? Are men unwilling to watch media with unfeminine women? Is the patriarchy so instilled in many women that they don't want to watch media with unfeminine women? I've seen first-hand women shaming other women for not wearing makeup, or not shaving their legs. Much of the same thing may be a problem here. Many women help enforce the patriarchy by shaming other women. 

You would think that with new ways of watching television, like Netflix, some of this problem might be mitigated. Netflix has some very niche shows, and if butch women began appearing in niche television and found an audience there, you might think that they could eventually find an audience in broadcast television. So far though, Netflix has nothing to offer other than Big Boo on Orange is the New Black.